On Deepak Chopra’s website there’s an interesting piece about how you can manifest the relationship of your dreams using the Law of Attraction.
Could it be possible, do you think, that everyone who wants to spend their entire life with the person who is ideal for them in every way – what we commonly call a soulmate – could find this person using the law of Attraction principles?
Of course the answer to that is yes: because the Law of Attraction can produce everything we want, provided we know how to ask for it and we are sufficiently motivated to use the enduring principles of co-creation of manifestation correctly.
But first things first – really, what is a soulmate?
The answer to this seems to be that a soulmate is somebody with whom you naturally feel completely at ease with, somebody with whom you can completely relax and be yourself. And someone you can love unconditionally and who in return loves you unconditionally.
These are very broad descriptions, and for me there’s more to it: for example, there’s the issue of forgiveness and acceptance – this must be high on everybody’s list of soulmate qualities.
Why? Because there’s nothing more injurious to your sense of self-worth than being in a relationship with a judgmental individual. Some other things that you might wish to avoid in your deepest relationship are criticism, anger, and intolerance.
So what’s the chance of attracting somebody who exemplifies all these qualities?
Well there are eight billion people in the world – although of course you’re going to be looking for a specific age and gender, which probably reduces the number of people who could potentially be your soulmate in an intimate relationship to about one billion.
Not many to choose from is it?
OK, joking aside, the interesting thing is that so many people give up in their attempt to find a soulmate after they’ve had a few bad experiences.
So they split, internally: one part of them wants a relationship, and another part of them, a part which has perhaps been worn down in life, says “No, it’s not possible, and I’m not going to try again so I won’t be hurt again.” That’s the inner child speaking.
Yet the interesting thing here is that being wounded is a necessary experience in life: it’s what makes us grow into something bigger and better than we previously were. Healing from these wounds allows us to express our true potential.
To overcome the effect of bad relationships, you need to learn from them, maintain your optimism, and continue to visualize your objective of finding a soulmates, just as you would no matter what you were trying to achieve, create or produce in your life using the Law of Attraction.
These are indeed timeless principles, but to work for you, you need to apply them.
You see also that besides using the universal Law of Attraction to find your soulmate, you have to be prepared to do the emotional work necessary to overcome your own emotional wounds, the work that will make you in turn into a very attractive partner for someone,
The Law and Relationship
We all know what the Law of Attraction is: the idea that you attract to yourself the essence of what you think about, or more specifically, in the context of an intimate relationship, you are drawn to people who have the qualities which you expect to find in the partner who wants to be in relationship with you.
In practice this means you need to focus on positive qualities such as love, joy, mutual understanding, mutual companionship, and (perhaps) sexual compatibility. At the root of all of these issues, at least for me, is the fact that you can trust someone.
A client once asked me why women repeatedly go back into abusive relationships.
(By the way, it’s not just women who do this – men do it as well.)
Putting that aside, the question of why people go back into continually abusive relationships, even with a new partner, is simple to answer. They do it because their expectations about the kind of relationship they can have, or about the quality of partner of whom they are worthy is very low. Read about limiting beliefs here.
It really is as simple as that: what you expect, or rather, what you believe you are worth, is precisely what you manifest. (By the way, that goes for money as well as love.)
Wanting and Living “As-if”
There’s an interesting difference between wanting something, and being sure that it will come. When you live in a state of wanting, which here, for the sake of example, means wanting a relationship with a soulmate, you are putting out the energy of lack, or, if you prefer, the energy of wanting.
It seems that most authors on the Law of Attraction agree that to actually get something you want, the energy you need to put out is that of confident expectation or belief – in this case that really will find a soulmate and get a relationship.
In other words, while you’re not necessarily living “as if” the relationship’s already arrived, what you are certainly doing is living in the expectation that it will arrive, AND NOT in the hope that you will get a relationship.
Be Clear About What Appeals To You
As always, with manifestation, you need to be specific about what you want. This is an interesting point.
I’ve heard two sides to this story: the first is the often repeated suggestion that you need to have a very specific and clear image of the kind of individual you want to be in relationship with.
And the second is that you open up your heart to the universe’s ability to give you precisely what you need.
But it’s simple to resolve: I think if you’re visualizing, let us say, to meet a blonde man precisely 13 stone in weight, with specific measurements, blonde hair, flawless skin, and beautiful features, with a well developed body, you’re probably being too specific.
What you should actually be asking for is a man who embodies the spiritual and emotional qualities of a soulmate.
This might include, for example, a man who can be a friend and lover with whom you are on great terms, who you trust at a deep level, who shares your interests, who’s spiritually inclined and has a sense of humor, who’s intelligent and devoted to you as his partner, or perhaps someone who’s just as interested in emotional development as you are.
You see the difference?
Instead of asking for specific features and physical appearance, what you’re asking for are personal qualities which the universe will be able to give you in a number of different packages.
Because ultimately, the thing that really makes somebody into your soulmate is how they relate to you on a soul level. Stands to reason, really, doesn’t it?
You may also have heard the expression that when you’re trying to manifest something, you need to “live as if it’s already present in your life”.
This confuses a lot of people, so let’s just look at it briefly. It may sound slightly flaky, but the story I recount is of how a woman found her partner by living “as if” he was already part of her life: for example by playing music that she thought her partner would enjoy, wearing attractive nightwear instead of T-shirt and sweat pants, imagining waking up together in bed in the morning, and lighting candles and setting a place for him at the table each dinner time.
(I know this works – I’ve done something similar and found a relationship by imagining my partner to be with me; by visualizing what it would be like to make love to her and have her with me. So I’d say this process really works.)
But a lot of people find it difficult to go through life enacting something that isn’t real.
It’s an interesting challenge – and as Arielle says, you might not be willing to set the table for two people for dinner every evening (I mean, obviously, if you’re single!)
But you might be willing to do something else – you might be willing, for example, to buy two concert tickets for a concert some months in advance in the expectation that by then you’ll have a date to go with you. You might buy greetings cards suitable for a prospective partner, knowing that sometime you’ll be able to give them to him or her. I’m sure you can think of many more examples.
In essence, what you’re doing here is programming your mind to believe that somebody is in your life: remember the often quoted expression that the subconscious mind can’t tell the difference between imagination and reality?
Neville Goddard Video
Yes, that’s what you doing here – programming your subconscious mind in such a way that the expectations it has will change from you being single and alone to you being a partnership with a desirable and attractive partner.
Bear in mind, that this isn’t trivial – in fact this is massive!
When two people who are true soulmates come together the world immediately becomes a better place because of the chemistry and love they share and generate.
This kind of energy spreads out into the world, so that by finding your soulmate, using Law of Attraction principles, you will be improving the quality of your life and that the people around you.
And don’t forget that the Law of Attraction requires you to take action – I mean, for example, if you wanted a new job, you wouldn’t just visualize yourself going into a new job, surely?
You’d apply for jobs that seemed suitable, wouldn’t you? The same is true of finding a soulmate – you need to take action… even if that’s simply placing an advert in the lonely hearts’ pages of your local paper or joining a dating site on the Internet, or going out more mixing with more people. So – decide what you want, live as if, and take action…. before you know it you will have manifested a soulmate!